Pinkie: "Forgive me Shepherd, for I have sinned!"

Shepherd: *sigh* "Pinkie Pie, for the last time, I'm not a priest! I can't take confession! I'm not even Catholic!"

Pinkie: "Father Waddles said as a Human Guardian you're just as good as a priest!"

Shepherd: "Father Waddles and I are going to have to have words."

Pinkie: "Pleeeeeasse? Please please please please please please please please-?!"

Shepherd: "All right, all right! What did you do?"

Pinkie: "Ahem?"

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Shepherd was doing some financial stuff at his kitchen table, when the doorbell rang. He got up and walked up to it, and opened it. There was Pinkie Pie, with... Several gray ponies.

Pinkie: "Hi Shepherd! My family is in town, and they wanted to meet you! This is my dad Igneous Rock Pie, my mom Cloudy Quartz Pie, and my sisters Limestone and Marble Pie!"

She grins happily, while her family remains very stoic.

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Somepony knocks on Shepherd's door at 6 in the morning. The human groans, rolls out of bed, and pulls on his robe. He pads in his slippers to the door, and opens it on...

Shepherd: "... Mister Waddles?"

Waddles: "Aha! Priest Waddles right now! I've got the collar on!"

Shepherd: "Okay, Priest... What can I do for you?"

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Shepherd: "Princess Celestia, I need to ask you a question."

Celestia: "By all means, my knight. Ask away."

Shepherd: "It... Seems kind of weird that a lot of mares find me... You know... Attractive. As in sexually. I am a completely different species, after all."

Celestia: "Well, outside of the fact you are brave and a hero of Equestria."

Shepherd: "Yes, outside of that."

Celestia: "And your hands are delightful to be touched with."

Shepherd: "Okay, sure-"

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